Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Avenging the Avengers

And so I have fallen into elitist obscurity. HELP ME!!!! AAAAAHHAHHHH!H!!HHH!!!HAA!!!!AAaaaaaa....

I loathed my nearly three hour intake of The Avengers.

Comrades of mine both great and small -- the world entire, it would seem -- have ceremoniously trumpeted the superhero conglomerate as the entrance of the age of divine cinematic perfection. The world speaks with one voice: "We love the Avengers."

And so I have become a man against himself. I have become the bane of my own intent, the leftover vomit of tongueless leper, the fallout of severe gamma radiation exposure, the type of mold that kills cheese rather than making it tasty, the pimple upon the low self-worthed teenager, the cur of society, the locust upon the field, the jellyfish to the eye of the common man. Sigh. With what burden of hate, I bear. With such burden, such burden, such burden...

I have, for a day's measure of hours already, pensively reasoned with panted breath how it is that I should respond to the film.

I thought about ranting and ranting here until there was no ranting left to give. But in this scenario, I fear my fingers would cripple, my voice break, my body decompose before I could vanquish entire my fill of justice ridden rant-mania. Additionally, I don't want to be that guy. I read on facebook and myriad other venues the ease to which folks complain. I don't want to be a hater. I don't want to burn my time in exasperated pleas for people to disregard and disdain something they already prize. I don't want to be that guy.

So then, what then should I do?

What is just?
All that I can figure is that I myself must fight The Avengers.
Of course, I am a mere mortal, I can't fight the demigod Thor.
I have not the resources that Iron Man has. 

I must assemble my own ragtag band of outsiders!


*I've started a new page on this here blog entitled "Revengers: Trading Card Exclusive!" I'll add to the page over time. Enjoy!


  1. I'm looking forward to seeing the movie, but I applaud your refined taste. I suspect it's a sign of your development as a human being.

  2. Ha -- clearly I'm maturing... that's why I've chosen to vent via digital pokemon-y cards. "I'm a big boy now!"

    Good to hear from ya, Boss!