The Retroactive 1st Annual Celebration of the Wit and Wisdom of the Good Mister Bob Hoskins

In loving honor of the man born an atheist turned agnostic, we here at MINE would like to honor the ever swelling romance that is Bob Hoskins.  As of this September, and promptly every succeeding September forthwith that still finds a pulse within this blog, we shall do our utmost to honor the venerable thespian himself. 

To show our appreciation for the man, as well as the enigma, we have congregated a list of 11 Bob Hoskins Character Quotes.  The list has been sorted in an order for climactic tension.

Relish the man, and discover the mystery!

11.

There's already been one radical in the White House. I don't believe it could survive another. 

J. Edgar Hoover

Nixon

10.

What you are suggesting isn't possible. That kind of thing isn't done here. Nudity? In England?

Vivian Van Damm

Mrs. Henderson Presents

9.

I'll get you a medal for modesty, Private Williams, would you like that?

C.S.M Williams

Zulu Dawn

8.

Like my saint of a mum used to say, "Get 'em young, and the possibilities are endless."

Bart

Unleashed/Danny the Dog

7. 

Someone oughta take out your brain and pickle it!  

Owney Madden

The Cotton Club

6.

He's Peter Pan or I've got a dead man's dinghy.  

Smee

Hook

5.

Come on, Luigi. You'll be talking to the mildew in the shower next. 

Mario Mario

Super Mario Bros.

4.

Who needs a car in L.A.? We have the best public transportation system in the world. 

Eddie Valiant

Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

3.

[addressing a roomful of Soviet political officers] My name... is Nikita Sergeyevich Khrushchev. I've come to take things in hand here. This city... is not Kursk, nor is it Kiev, nor Minsk. This city... is Stalingrad. *Stalingrad*! This city bears the name of the Boss. It's more than a city, it's a symbol. If the Germans... capture this city... the entire country will collapse. Now... I want our boys to raise their heads. I want them to act like they have *balls*! I want them to stop shitting their pants! That's your job. As political officers... I'm counting on you.

Nikita Khrushchev

Enemy at the Gates

2.

No one's heard nothing? That just ain't natural. It's like one of them silent, deadly farts. No clue, and then pow, you go cross-eyed. 

Harold Shand

The Long Good Friday

1.

More whimpering? Between you and Balto it's like a Dostoyevsky novel around here. Lighten up. 

Boris the Goose

Balto*

Here's to the Hoskins' inside all of us!  Cheers, mate!  

And, uh, let's all lighten up, eh?

*Picture may be unrelated to quoted film.

In Haste: The Long Good Friday

I am no Britaphile.  The Lock, Stock crowd tends to not hold my interest.  The problem in general is that the protagonists are so unseemly, so convoluted in their own desires, that I never really have buy-in.  Perhaps I'm putting my American 'Save the Cat' fedora on here, but when I can't enter into the protagonists world, and the world outside of him is varnished only by druggies, gunnies, bunnies, and mafiosos, my eyeballs tend to become sooner fixated on the scary faces I can form out of popcorn ceilings.

In the case of this film, almost in spite of itself, the film is completely engrossing.  The director, John Mackenzie, wisely gave his actors plenty of time to breathe within the big scenes.  This is largely a film of responses.  We watch Bob Hoskins reaction with each notification of horrid news.  We sit there with him.  He breathes.  His eyes dart here and there.  He breathes.  He fumes.  He breathes.  And then he calculates his next move.

Now, I'm not a man who often says that the British scare me, but the meat factory scene, tossing us in a sudden upside-down POV shot is pretty darn chilling.  And it lasts a good long while... or rather, a long good while.

Check it out: Hoskins even sports his bicuspids in the shower!

Alright, alright, alright -- I'm throwing sand in your eyes.  All that stuff is swell and all, but this film is about one thing and one thing only. 

Bob Hoskins.  Watch him work his silly Brit magic underbite to perfection!  And here I thought Hoskins invented that full-frontal display of his lower quadrant incisors for his Hoover impression in "Nixon".  No sir!  There it is way back when in 1980.  This is 110 minutes of Bob Hoskins spouting hoop dreams about the future economic vitality of London and then progressively seething more and more ingloriously as the film unfolds.  It's a thing of magnanimous beauty.  I enjoyed my travels through the film immensely.

And now -- since I am sure that you have not had your fill of Hoskinsy good, I present to you now:

A Very Merry Bob Hoskins' Ivory Tribute! 

 

We must learn from this man while there is still time.  We must.