Sunday, August 22, 2010

The Holy Moment

Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in. 

It's a rare feeling, but when it comes, it paints the day.  Maybe the week.  Lord willing, my life.

Today, in Ljubljana, after lunch, it returned to me.  It's presence was fleeting, but I've become conditioned to sniff out its presence from afar.  

I was standing amidst a little street fair.  It was really nothing special.  There were a few stands, a cotton candy hub, and maybe seventy people strewn about.  There was a classical band full with baritones, clarinets, tubas and suspenders.  They were playing jolly Slovene anthems.  Every few songs an accordion player would join in.  

Everything was fun, like a small town 4th of July parade.  I was happy.  Then came the baton twirlers.

A dozen or so teenage baton twirlers pranced out with their batons and blue, somewhat traditional leotard outfits.  They were not very well coordinated.  A few of the girls had obvious embarrassment marked about their eyes.  They marched in place on the cobblestone to the beat of the tubas.

It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this bag was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it.  For fifteen minutes.

There, in that place, it visited me -- that absolute feeling.
I will try to explain: everything I saw in that moment, everything I smelled and heard and sensed -- it was all so lovely.  I became, for just a fleeting moment, so enamored with my love for this life that I slid into it fully.  If I could stay in that moment, I think I would melt into the cobblestone.  I loved all the people that surrounded me, I loved the band, the littlest twirler that was consistently a beat and a half behind pace... I even loved the old dude that stood on the steps way behind the band that sported nothing but jean shorts, a necklace, and a off-beat clap.  I loved it all.  I felt so amazingly blessed just to be given this moment as a gift from the Lord -- I was beside myself.

Then I realized what I was feeling, and it was over.  

Perhaps I am the only one who is given such moments.  Whether you get them or not, I think it is what the new earth will be like.  All things will be filled to the brim with love.  And a love that big can't be contained. 
And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember..."